WARNING: the contents in this post might be too selfish. :p

that night was unbearable. I could not convince myself to sleep. I’m just lying there, looking at the ceiling and hugging the pillow beside me. after some time, I decided to listen to some music while trying to get some sleep. I noticed a star through the window. the star was so small and the light that comes from it was so weak that I cannot barely see it. I imagine myself at the room and HIM is the star. XD

I am inside s somewhat large dome or theater. lots of people in their glamorous dress passes me by. It feels like I’m one of them, I feel like I am one of the famous and important person–it feels great 😀 😀 then after a moment, I began to see familiar faces and voices.  waa~~I’m not alone, I know them, and yes i know them very well.

I began to realize that there is a concert/press con/tour of the band XXXX (sorry for my selfishness I cannot mention his name hehe). I suddenly feel panic! my adrenalin pumped like it never pumped before. whoa. I saw HIM! (i cannot mention his name again). I hurriedly run to him and he smiled at me and reach his hand to mine. and yes! I feel the softness of his hand (I’m in cloud nine!!). I try to ask for some picture-taking saying that it would only take the 2 seconds of his life, and he say NO! (damn) but I still insist and I just blurt that it would only take 1.3 seconds of his life (yes I admit it. I feel so desperate >_<). and then I feel heaven’s scent (not the cologne one haha) he smiled and then he say YES. he guide me to an empty seat and we did the picture-taking there. and as a typical fans do, I smell my hand and the scent of his hand lingers!

touching others' hand creates electricity and reaction from the person's hormones

touching others' hand creates electricity and reaction from the person's hormones

ehem! that was too good to be true. haha. it will never happen. HIM smiling at me across the theater. damn. when I woke up. my heart is still throbbing. It was fast and my hand that he shook from my unbelievable dream–it was so numb from reality because I can still feel his hand touching mine.

May 29, 2010

when I woke up, I sent him a message saying .. thanks for making my day unbelievably awesome. :p


When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit,
It’s when things seem worse,
That you must not quit.

Edgar A. Guest

–> so inspiring. :3

It was another tiring day. These past few weeks, there was nothing but work and examinations. Again, as a routine, I went back home from school; dropped my bag, open the laptop and browse my accounts in different social networking sites. I chatted with my friends for a couple of hours. I ate the dinner and returned to the laptop. Everyday seemed boring and not fun at all.

Damn, it was about 1 in the morning that I remembered about the paper that I needed to pass for the day itself. I searched for the information in the net and tried to put them all together. But it was so difficult because I feel so dizzy and I heard the grumble of my stomach. I stand up and get a cup of coffee. Good grief, there was a 3-in-1 pack of coffee left in the kitchen. I sat again and put down the mug on my table, I raised my arm, closed my eyes and stretch out for seconds. I checked my mail again to check whether my friend will help me do my paper. There was a new mail but unfortunately it was not from my friend. I opened it and saw a video. Out of curiosity, I played the video and a message flashed on my laptop’s screen. You will be happy if you see this. Enjoy 🙂

Then I notice that I am walking along the grubby and dim road. I hear my heavy patted breath, the sound of my footsteps and the thumps made by my heart. The ground is soft and light like a bubble; the wind feels cold and alive—it wraps my body and leaves me with the shivers.

I neither have the sense of time nor the knowledge of the place.  I just walk and after some time, continue to walk—as if my body follows some sort of instinct or the gravity is towards the end of the road. I needed to do something I told myself. But I cannot figure out what it is.

“Why are you walking alone?” It’s a bird flying beside me. “I don’t know, because I don’t have someone else that’s why I’m walking alone?” I replied. “I can go with you,” it said. I didn’t care about the black bird with white feather under its chest and a shade of blue in its wings. “Man, why don’t you walk here at the middle of road? Haha! Come here” the bird yelled to me. “Is it really necessary for you to laugh and shout? You can just tell me you know,” I said. “I noticed that you have a doubt, so I tried to cheer you up. Happiness can be courage you know?” What’s wrong with this bird, I ponder. Still, I continue to walk at the middle of the road and so the bird follows.

Though the mist blocks my eyesight, I notice the human forms in the right and in the left side of the road. I could see a little boy with a big hat that covers his eyes. And on the other side, a sluggish old man is sitting beside the wrecked tree. The road divides in two paths. The first is on the side of the boy and the second is on the right. “Which do you prefer?” asked by the bird. I suddenly feel perplex and unable to decide.

“You should go to this path, young man. In which you will feel the happiness in your childhood. If you want to be happy, then you should not treasure material things. Remember when you were still a child? Even a candy can give you happiness. You should focus on small things young man. Look at me, I’m happy and contented with myself,” said the boy.

What an unintelligent creäture you are child,” told the old man to the child. “Can’t you see? He is not a child anymore. And he will never go back in being a child. It’s your fault for not seeing the good things in life. It’s because you always have your eyes covered with your big hat. Don’t be idealistic, look at the reality. The world in which this young man lives has many opportunities and lots of good things. You should just do whatever you want. Go to this path and you shall pursue happiness,” blurted the old man.

“You should not use your eyes to view the things in your surroundings; you should feel it and it really works. Trust me. Without these things in life, you will crave for less and be contented with what you have.”

Oh come on! Life is too short to indulge himself to be contented. Look at him; he has a bright future, do everything that pleases you, grab every opportunity, and go to different places that satisfies you and do not restrain yourself from being contented.”

What do you think little bird?” I asked. “Let’s see, you can still have a happy childhood if you did not have, it’s never too late because there’s always someone who is older than you. Man should not pamper himself to lots of satisfaction, because it might eradicate you. And besides, happiness is a trail and not a place. If you want to be happy, so be,” answered the bird.

I see.” I said and nodded at the boy and at the old man. “Life is always wonderful. I shall make own path,” I told to the two and waved them good-bye.

I woke up in the front of my laptop. Geez, it’s already 6 in the morning. My coffee is already cold and my laptop is already dead empty.

I smiled and start my day.

~this composition is for iki. :p

A man was sitting on the station and waiting for the bus to arrive. It’s the day of his interview for his first job. He’s really excited because it was like a dream come true for him. Thus, he wanted it to be the perfect one. His coat, tie, pants and everything was new-fangled. The night before the interview, he worked hard to practice and trained himself for the serious-technical to non-sense-disturbing questions. While he hum and listen to his favourite song on his iPod, he then noticed that the bus has finally arrived.

The time was exactly 8 : 00 and so it’s the rush hour. He looked and the driver nodded at him. The driver seems very nice, he thought. He sat on the only vacant seat at the second last row of the bus. He glanced at the man sitting beside him and then the man smiled back at him. He seems weird, he thought. The man dressed in all-black outfit. He has a hat, trench coat and shades—he must be a leader of a somewhat bloody gang? A malevolent spy? Or perhaps, a member of a mob? He still gave him a somewhat forced smile. The traffic was really heavy, but the man sit comfortably because knew this would happen, and so he woke up early and aimed to be on the office one hour earlier. Half an hour later, the traffic became so smooth and then suddenly, the bus stopped. It was because a traffic policeman popped somewhere and made conversation with the driver.

After a while, all the passengers began to ride off the bus, and so the man realized that the driver has no licensed and thus he, along with the others, needed to transfer to another bus. They waited for another bus but it took almost 40 minutes for them to get another one. The man began to feel uneasy and nervous. He tried to calm himself and listen to his iPod once more. As the bus turn left and right he grasps the pole with his hands. The iPod suddenly went empty and he then realized that he holds the pole using his two hands. .and where’s his bag? He felt the urge to shout but he did not so. He turns his head and tried to search for his bag. It would be impossible to attend the interview without the bag, he thought so. He must have been left it somewhere but it’s too late to turn his back and search for it at the station because he finally arrived to his destination.

His knees were trembling and he perspired a lot. He walked in the waiting room with nothing and then the door opened. He was shocked because he was told that his composition was excellent. He was perplexed at the moment and then, the interviewer showed the document that they have. And it was the document that he lost. In instant, he was congratulated and accepted at the job. He walked out of that room and saw the man in all-black outfit and he gave him smiled. He’s still the same person back inside the bus, but now it’s somewhat different. As he notices the white patch under the neck of the man, he uttered, “Thank you, father.”